Recovering from abuse

How Marriage Counsellors Help to Improve Relationships

You may think that you can work to restore your marriage on your own without the help of a relationship counsellor, but this may not be true. By the time the marriage gets rocky[,] then external help may be the only way to salvage your relationship. This article discusses three ways by which a relationship counsellor can help to improve your marriage.

Improve Communication Between You

Many couples drift apart because each partner fails to voice the issues that are bothering him or her. A point of no return can be quickly reached and they end up in divorce court. One important role that a relationship counsellor plays is to grant the couple a chance to communicate with each other. For instance, he or she can meet each of you separately in order to get you to open up about what is bothering you as a couple. In this way, the counsellor can advise you on how to raise that issue before your partner during a joint session so that each of you gets a chance to voice any concerns you may have. This open communication can result in each partner changing the behaviour that was tearing the marriage apart.

Nudging You to Take Action

A relationship counsellor can ask guiding questions that prod you into taking action to repair your marriage. For instance, he or she can ask you to suggest what you can do to restore the trust of your spouse after you had an affair. This question can lead you to ask yourself what would restore your trust if you were the victim of an unfaithful partner. It can also lead you to do the things that will reassure your partner that the marriage is still meaningful and that you would like to rebuild it. You can stop being secretive when answering calls, for instance. This will remove any suspicion about your phone interactions.

Change Conflict Resolution Approaches

A marriage counsellor can help you to realize that the strategies you are using to solve problems may be making things worse. He or she can do this by asking you what happens each time you yell at your spouse, for example. This can lead you to alter tactics to a more helpful way, such as keeping quiet when you are angry and then calmly expressing your displeasure. That change in strategy can be the turning point that pulls you back from the brink of getting a divorce.

You should never underestimate the role that a relationship counsellor can play in rebuilding your marriage. As the discussion above shows, a counsellor's involvement may turnaround a marriage that seemed beyond redemption. If you have specific questions about therapy and counselling, contact a therapist from a place like Inner Dimensions to learn more.